Yup.
Today is my birthday.
I turn 34 years old.
34 years on this rock.
I have reached that age where I am embarrassed to say how old I am.
I never thought I'd get to that point. But, here I am.

I didn't do anything special today.
Yesterday, I went out with a friend and did some shopping.
It was nice to get out of the house and doing something fun for a change.
Sure, I have had plenty of opportunities to go out and have fun with friends I 
just haven't really felt much like it.

I bought a few turtle necks and nice sweater.
I may buy a few more next weekend. I bought a few books: Japanese Fairy Tales, The Apprenticeship of Big Toe P, and Please Be Mine (the All About DBSK picture book). The actually DVD set All About DBSK (TVXQ) is roughly $140.00, so the picture book will have to do. It is in Korean, Japanese, and English.
 I also bought two DVDs I told myself I would not buy: TVXQ History in Japan vol. 4 and TSC Tour DVD. I knew if I saw them in the store I would not be able to resist buying them, but I told myself I would not...and I did.

I also bought some cheap handbags and stopped by The Body Shop to get some nice moisturizers.

I did tell my company I intend to re-contract.


After a year, I figured out where the filter goes on the humidifier (and it doesn't go where I was putting it) and what that little divet thingie is in the top (it is for aroma oil).

I renewed my BigEast fanclub membership and paid for Fan Club event that is to be held in January....trying to decide if I should renew my Range Aid membership too. I'll sleep on it some more.

That is all for now.
XOXO

To stay or to go.
I need to make a decision by the end of this month.
Thing could change by the New Year.

I'm not ready to go home.
This I know.
My sister just moved back home.
It would be a mess.
I would be bored.
I know I would not be happy.
I'm weighing my options.
I had a good weekend.
When I get some pics of my evening, i'll post them.
I went to the onsen on Saturday.
I'm not a huge onsen fan. Even in the winter. It just doesn't do much for me.

I will post pics later on.
I need to make more userpics.

ooohhh Halloween is coming soon!! 
What shall I dress up as this year and will I remember to get photos of myself?!

Last night, I dreamt (or I think I dreamt) that someone was pulling the blanket off of me.
When I turned to see who it was, there was a small child there looking confused.
I tried to ask them what they wanted but they ran back into the other room...still looking confused.

When I looked at my mobile phone, it was only 1:47am
I say "only" because I had just gone to bed at 11:45pm.

It is an overcast sky today.
I don't know if I will make it to the shopping center today.
I have enough to do around my small apartment...that is why I am posting on LJ, right.

I have been trying to write something for 2 weeks.
My time at home flew by.
But it was nice seeing the family.
I still don't feel like I am ready to return to the states yet.
But I may not have a choice.

Lately, I have been feeling like nothing I do is enough.
I'm not feminine enough (because I don't fit that "Western" standard of beauty or the "Eastern/Asian" standard of beauty).
I don't know enough Japanese.
I'm not smart enough.
I'm certainly not thin enough...never will be.
I don't smile enough.
I'm not happy enough.
I don't work hard enough.
I'm not a good enough friend.
I'm not a good enough sister.
I'm not a good enough daughter.

On my days off, I just stay inside all day.
I go out at night to get dinner or snacks
It has been hard dealing with people.

I should probably go down to Ishinomaki tomorrow and enjoy the Hello Kitty exhibit at the Manga Museum.
But I don't know if I can be bothered to be out around people...although maybe being out with people might
help.

Maybe I'll get up early and go for a bike ride or something.
I think I should take more pictures...

Soooo...what's new with you?
xoxo,
~K

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I did it.
I saw Tohoshinki (Dong Bang Shin Ki) live.

It was the best thing ever.
Even better than my meeting *NSync.
Ask me where my seats were....there is the main stage, then a catwalk down to the a second stage.
So the whole stage area looks like a "T" with an upside down "v" at the bottom of the "T".
I was 4th row from the main stage, 1st row from the catwalk!!

Being a fanclub member has benefits.
Totally worth the the ticket price and I would gladly pay it again.

Those guys are just as ridiculously goodlooking in person as they are in photos.
I was so giddy, it was stupid!
They sounded wonderful.
They looked wonderful.

I'm still high off of the experience......
Seeing them live is big deal here, they are HUGE. HUUUUGGGGGEEEEE!
So getting to experience a concert that close, heheheheheee..too cool.

I am worn out this week.
I know it is only Monday, but after the concert I went clubbing with friends. I drank too much but had a nice guy.
Danced with some delicious Japanese men, stayed out until 5:30am.
But I gotta full week with the kids. I hope I can make it.

Hiro swears he'll be less busy after May....we'll see.
teeheeheehehe. I told him he has to come out clubbing with me because I want to dance with him.
He said I don't know how to dance. I told him I show him how and that he should trust me...he says he doesn't trust...
He thinks I'm gonna "do" something....he may be right..LOL

peace out!

It's about that time.
It has been 4 weeks, time for post, ですね。

Christmas is almost here...hell Thanksgiving is almost here.
I still have to send mail to peeps.
I still have to send emails to peeps too.
I am such a slacker friend.

School is great.
I still love the kids.
But....but.....being here around all these nice kids....now I want kids.
No, no...no relationship as of yet...as in I am not seeing anyone special, but a few weeks before my birthday I actually started thinking, "Maybe it is time to settle down and start a family."
I know, I am totally nuts.

My social life is so-so.
I went out for Halloween and had a blast. Danced a lot. Drank a lot too.
I know some nice people but no one I am really close to.
I do have my sights set on a guy, we will see what happens next weekend when we go out.

I am totally stoked about my Orange Range concert next Friday!..I joined Range Aid
I am still totally infatuated with DBSK, I must see them in concert too..LOL

Now I am waiting for the mailman to bring me some DBSK stuff. How bad is it.
My Orange Range fan friends now how I can get (every album..almost every single..that was before I came to Japan).
With their newest album, DBSK has three versions...I bought all three version and matching posters.
It is an illness, I know...but what can ya do? I joined BigEast....

Today it snowed.
Just yesterday, my company told us they would send us info about where to get our snow tires put on and such.
I think they should have sent that out a month ago.

After the mailman comes, I will go do laundry and pay my cell phone bill.
I need to update several blogs and I have some art projects  to work on....I am waiting for the latest episode of South Park to upload so I can watch it! I watch too much South Park.

Well, I will continue to do nothing for a few more hours....say cheese

This is me and Jun at Halloween. Jun is a friend of a friend (the friend I am seeing next weekend).
He is very tall and has dimples. My sister says I look like I am having a seizure or something.
I told her I was drunk and I had on fake eyelashes...Halloween was good time (^__^).

I know it has been forever since my last post.
September came and went without much of anything going on....
October is here and I am excited for Halloween.
I actually feel sad that I won't be home for Halloween, but I plan on having a goodtime that night.
There is a club in Sendai that is having a Halloween bash and the next night a bunch of us are going to take a tour of a beer factory (and drink beer). I plan on just spending my weekend in Sendai that time.

The kids are still great. Some who seemed like slackers in the beginning have taken a renewed interest. One teacher I work with said that many of the students have expressed a desire to get to know me better. Many of the teachers too (the ones that don't say anything to me because they don't think their English is that great) have also started talking more and wanting to know more about me. Y'all know how quiet I am, I don't volunteer information :)

At some schools, the staff will talk to me in Japanese knowing I don't know that much. I think that is fantastic. We manage to communicate, I learn new words, they learn new words, we laugh about it and are relieved that we are talking to each other. At one school, the tea lady (or oobasan) asked me about music I like. I told her I liked Orange Range one week and the next week she had burned me some Orange Range albums (she didn't know that I had the full library already). She asked again and I named a few, including Glay. Yesterday, after my 2nd class I found 3 burned Glay albums.  She is such a sweet woman. She loves Bon Jovi and pop music.

A local private English teacher asked me to come speak with her HS students a few weeks ago. We started talking about music and the girl - Miho - told me about her favorite band, Tohoshinki. At first, I didn't know who she was talking about but then she said their name in Korean and I knew. I told her that I had heard of them but I never listened to their music before and because she loves them so much, I would check them out.....
well.....I go to Youtube and find this.....


yeah...yeah........you know what I did next don't you?!?!  Yeah, you know....yeah, I know....I know...
But, they are so adorable!!! OMG...LOL.


Oh yeah, I am seeing Orange Range in concert in November.
There is an OR forum member who lives in Sendai and she has two tickets and was gonna sell it. Once she found out I was nearby, she said i could buy it from her and we can go together. It will be the first OR concert for both of us. Yay!!

We are now going into week two of almost constant rain. I say almost because there was one day last week where it was sunny in the afternoon. There has been a steady downpour for about 12 hours now and it shows no signs of stopping.

Yesterday was Communication's Day (or International Day) at one my elementary schools. I did a computer art room and it was a lot of fun.  The kids and their families where great. For lunch, we all had curry and rice and each little neighborhood from the town made their own pots. All the families donated food and money for the lunch. It was really good!!! We watched the 6th graders play the Taiko drums and that was phenomenal. They are going to Taiko Festival in few weeks. How cool.  I had a lot fun at the school and it was great way to spend the afternoon (since it was raining). 

After the event, I had to get some gas and discovered I had yet another nail in my tire. I don't think anyone is delibrately putting nails in my tire, but this is the second time I've had to get a flat fixed. My plan after the gas station was to go to the shopping center near the train station to get some OxyClean and Parmesean cheese. But me and the other ALT in Kannari were talking about the new Batman movie and I decided that should just go to the movie theater and see it that evening.  The movie theater is good hour and forty minutes away and it was raining. But  I didn't care, I had full tank of gas.

I get to the theater and the movie doesn't start until 8pm, it was 5:45...So I walked to mall. I got some earrings, a face massager, a hat, and hand dyed sack.  The movie was great. I really enjoyed it, didn't have any complaints. The drive home went by fast and I didn't get lost (which is amazing considering the driving conditions and how tired I was). I got home around 1am and called home to see what was up.

Right now, I am in the middle of doing laundry, I gotta head back out to the laundromat and I hope some dryers are free...

xoxo 

It has rained every day  since Saturday.
Sure, we have some periods of sun, but mainly just rain.
And it has gotten hella chilly...not cool.

I still feel kinda blue. My social life and interpersonal relationships are intermixed....
I would love to say that when my "friend"/neighbor gets back from holiday we would hang out more...
but she is too busy swinging off the nuts of the guy she is screwing but doesn't really care for...
Before she left she would make plans with me then cancel them to spend time with him...unless she needed
my help with some shit...

I kinda get the feeling that I am expected to be available when people "need" me, but when I want to hang out or need someone to talk to no one can find the time really....but then again it is almost always like that with me.  I am like curio or something...only pull me out on special occasions. Lord that is depressing thought...but then again maybe this gloomy as weather is playing with my brain (along with my hormones).

I bought a printer (finally) and was able to print some artwork. I will do a few pieces in MS Paint and print those to show what can be done in paint and then do some simple examples of random shit.

I have had a very rough couple of weeks.
Even though my sister came to visit, there are situations I have to deal with on the daily here.
Jackie's visit was a welcome distraction, but I could not fully enjoy it.

I was finally feeling somewhat content but it was that type of contentment that was weak and fragile.
Just as quickly as that feeling came over me, it was gone again.
Totally shot to shit.
This exclusion hurts so bad and I don't know what I did to deserve it.

Today I feel a little better about things.
I always have more energy when the sun is out and I can see the sky.
Overcast days are not my friends.

I have a letter or two to write today and send via snail mail to folks.
But I think I should probably have a little lunch first.

Why me???
This week has been one the most craptastic weeks of my life and for no good reason!
I was supposed to go see the Dark Knight this morning but didn't make it in time...why?
Because I got turned around at the mall and then got stuck on some expressway....

So, I just said "Fuck It' and drove back home....
I was gonna meet people to see the movie with..and then we were gonna go catch some fireworks.
Apparently, EVERYONE is going to this event...except me.
I wasn't going to drive to that town all by myself and hope I run into some people I know, then drive all the way back home...nope.

I just knew when I woke up this morning I should have stayed in bed.

For the most part, life is pretty sweet..but these past few weeks have been sucking major donkey balls and I don't understand why.
What the hell did I do?!?!

Hey Everyone!

How are y'all doing?
I know it has been a whole month since my last post and, once again, I'm sorry for that.

I don't have a great deal to say but I have links to pictures:

Ishinomaki

Random Photos from June

Motsu-ji and Chuson-ji Temples

Sendai and Tanabata

I have been on summer break since August.
Jackie flew over to visit me and it was great to see her.
My parents bought me a new laptop I think it is because they miss me.
My dad wants to buy me Rosetta Stone and I asked "Why?"

I am giving a digital art workshop next week at one of my schools.
It should be interesting because I don't know nearly enough Japanese to hold a proper class.
And I suspect most of those attending won't know much English. The bonus: I gotta use MS Paint!

My personal life has had ups and downs. Me and friend had a falling out. Now things are kinda weird. He kinda looks like
he is afraid of me and I don't know how to be around him anymore. I am pissed cuz we will never be as chummy as we once were and it over something so trivial. 

I'm working on restarting a couple of blogs that I have been neglecting....and I have a garden on the balcony.
I suppose that is about it!

XOXO

Sorry for the lack of updates.
I update all the time at Facebook. I haven't forgotten about this journal though.
Not much significant has happened since the earthquake.
We are in the middle of rainy season and the humidity here is redonk!!
My hair couldn't hold a curl if you paid it!

I still love all my schools.
The staff is very sweet, but they expect me to be fluent in Japanese.
I can understand way more than I am able to express, but I am slowly getting there.

The students are equally as sweet.  The kindergarten, first, and second graders are really funny.
They don't understand why I can't understand what they are saying. It is beyond their comprehension that I don't speak Japanese.
I have a 5th grade boy at one school who said he loves me and that I am beautiful. Yes, the only guy that is interested in me is an adorable 5th grader. And yes, if I were a 5th grade girl I would totally sweat him.
There are two 6th grade boys at another school who I would sweat too if I were in 6th grade.
They are gonna break hearts when they are older.
But seriously, all the kids are awesome and they are enthusiastic!! It is pleasure going to work everyday...eventhough most of the time I have no idea what is being said to me.

Actually other Japanese men I have hit on me, one guy in a very none Japanese way.
I went to this dance club with friends and this one guy was dancing with me and speaking Japanese at me. Then he left, but he came back and took my hand and led me out the door (by this time I had several drinks over the course of the night).  So I get halfway down the street before I realize that I don't know this man nor do I know where I am going. So I tell him that my friends are back inside and he says o'k. Later, my friends tells me he was probably trying to take me to a love hotel.  The night goes on and, towards end of the night, he returns. So I think he wants to dance with me again, but he keeps saying in my ear, " Wakata. Daijobou" which means (i think) "I understand, it's o'k." I wanted to face him and dance but he kept spinning me around so my back was to him. He takes my hand and places it on his crotch(which, mind you, he had been doing in all our encounters on the dance floor) but his penis is out.  Of course, I immediately turn around and tell him no (with a sweet smile) and gave him one of those closed mouth kisses on the lips. I felt bad turning him down, but I wasn't in the mood and I didn't know him.

The other guy that tried to take me to a love hotel just caught me on the wrong night...well, no. Even on the right night I would have to decline.
But my personal life kinda sucks here. See, it wouldn't be so bad if I were the only foreigner for miles, but nooooo. There are tons of us. And everyone is getting some except for me and sexiness living 20 minutes away. But he is only interested in chicks that look like mannequins. Trust, me and everyother gaijin gal in the area have tried to get into his pants...we are shameless.LOL. We are ridiculous!!!

Me and sexiness are kinda having issues about this trip to Tokyo a bunch of us were going to take, but one by one peeps started dropping like flies. We were gonna go to a music festival. But sexiness got in touch with this chick through facebook who met one of the bands who is gonna be at the festival and found out that they were doing a solo show later in the week. WELL,  when he told me this I said I would enjoy that more than the festival I am game.  Conversations happen (they didn't include me) and all of sudden sexiness and chica downstairs are trying to talk me out of going to the solo show. Keep in mind, we have already decided that we wouldn't do the festival on Saturday.  It turns out that he would rather go to this thing with Tokyo chick alone rather than have me come along. But because I was looking forward to this trip for two weeks, I told him I am going anyways....I just won't hang with him and his new friend...I would disappear into the crowd and he wouldn't see me again until we board the train back to Kurihara.  Just because I have not heard of the band doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy the show....fuckin' retarded ass!! So I am a little annoyed by that. I kinda feel like people are being shady......

But yeah, that is life in Kurihara right now...like a goddamn soap opera! Wait till I tell y'all some other shit...it is crazy.

Hi all..just to let you know I am o'k.
Most peeps around here are....I think.
I have no physical injuries...but I am traumatized a little.
The aftershocks are what is getting me right now...I can't even stay in the apartment, I keep going outside.

I will do some laundry and then try to go on with my day...

xoxo

I won an auction on YHJ Auctions through SMJ.
The day I won the auction, I went to change my address. In the comments I said I needed to have my items stored in  the Japan facility because I have just moved there. I sent two emails (because SMJ has claimed in the past that they do not get emails if they go the spam folder) from different accounts saying the same thing.  So I go to check the status  of my items and they are being sent to the US. I email (from three different email accounts...because I want to make sure they get the damn email) them asking why. I said I changed my address to one in Japan why are you sending my stuff to the US. They respond (rather quickly) that they did change my address but I would have needed to let them know that I wanted my items stored in Japan....WTF??? Keep in mind you have to fill out shipping request form when you want your items sent to you. My history with the auctions is that I always sent it to the address on file. So if I change my damn address on file to one in Japan, wouldn't you think to keep my shit in Japan??? If you had a question, would you not ask to verify??? I know I would.  Hell, there was one time when I was living in the States, where they kept my items stored in Japan until I requested shipping...it blows my mind. I am sure they are going to make me pay extra to have my shit shipped back to fuckin' Japan.....

Their customer service is lacking...seriously
Yes...they are hurting my ass...

Since landing in the Land of the Rising Sun, my mouth has been working on it's own.
I mean, sometimes the things that come out of it ...and I'm not even drunk. I just say shit.
Like last weekend, I promised a friend a motorboating for his birthday. Now I don't know if he thought I would motorboat him or him do me.. or what...yeah, maybe he forgot but I doubt it.

Right now I am waiting for time to fly by. I gotta go to the grocery to get some booze and then get a cake. I won't get too much alcohol cuz  I don't need the community thinking I am lush or something. But I do plan on getting twisted tonight. I sent my family a videomail and I hope my 'rents can watch it.

Yeah, I've got nothing...I am wishing I got that pedicure before I left the States. I will put another coat of nail polish on the toes. I found out this morning that one of my students got me to say "onara" or fart in class (the teacher wasn't there yet). Then they proceeded to sing the Onara Exercise song:


crazy kids!

Oh. Mah. Gawd!!!!
I finally have internet!!!
I don't know where to begin...I will post more later on today.
I had 1000 emails in my folder (mostly junk!!)
Things are going great.
I just started work this week. I have a pretty nice apartment. No TV, but who cares cuz i have internet.
My language skills are getting better. I have lots of pictures to post.

Overall, I am very happy here! I have some wonderful friends who I met in training and we all live near each other....

O'k, back to wading through my emails.

XOXOXOXO

Yeah, so I don't have any cool pictures just yet.
I just seems so terribly tourist-y and I am the anti-tourist.
I am more fascinated by the fact that DHC skin care products are sold in the convenience stores here.

The parts of Tokyo I have seen so far pretty normal.
It is nice, not too many people.

Right now, I am working on a presentation for tomorrow.
I am not too worried. It isn't like I haven't done this type of thing before.
I wrote out a lesson plan and I am taking a break now while running through the activities in my head.

The hotel internet connection is way slow.
Some things keep getting hung up..

My sister and I have tokbox accounts and I sent her a video mail the other day.
She said it made her want to cry.
That makes me terribly sad....I am not having second thoughts but...I don't like my family being so sad because I am far away.
I have been trying to communicate in some form everyday.
I thought the video mail would make things easier...
::sigh::
Well, I guess I should get back to work or something

I am posting from Tokyo y'all!!
So far so good.
I'm tired after my flight and light headed because I haven't been eating much. I am eating now though.
Just wanted to touch base with my LJ friends.

I will post more tomorrow.